You haven't lived in France long enough until...

As an Australian abroad in France, I've decided to put together a list of milestones that served as my initiation into French life. I hope that some of you will read along and nod the whole way through in agreement and the other half will laugh! Without further ado:


You haven't lived in France long enough until:

1. You know that nothing, absolutely nothing, is accomplished on a Sunday.
2. You've seen your life flash before your eyes when crossing the road because the cars here just don't stop for humans on zebra crossings.
3. You've sent every single piece of paper you own to some French organisation.
4. Every single answer you get just depends on the person you ask.
5. You've experienced the mayhem that is 'SOLDES'.
6. You've been affected by at least 5 strikes in the past 3 months.
7. You've come to expect that nothing here will ever make sense.
8. You've wondered how the women here stay so thin when there are boulangeries/patisseries on every corner.
9. You know that SNOW= city shutdown. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.
10. You've found yourself singing along to the annoying SNCF train station jingle.
11. You start to eat all your fruit with a knife instead of biting into it.
12. You know that refrigerated milk here is akin to the 'mystery lost sock' that always goes missing when doing laundry. You'll just never find it.
13. You've finally used the word 'putain'.
14. You've adopted an all-black wardrobe.
15. It's taken you 15 minutes to 'faire la bise' when arriving somewhere.
16. You've experienced the joys of two-hour lunches.
17. You've realised that things will be open at times they should be closed and closed when they should be open.
18. You've tried to decipher the mess that is the French computer keyboard. Fullstops will forever be the bane of my (french) existence.
19. You've adopted lightning fast ninja reflexes when dodging dog poo on footpaths.
20. You've laughed hysterically at this video:

What were your French 'milestones?' Let me know in the comments below!